The Blind Side

My Review

Before I begin, I need to get one thing straight. I watch movies because I like to see good films. I do not watch movies to kill time or feel good or to “not think for a while” as so many people say. It doesn’t mean that I mind when a movie is inspirational as long as it is intelligent and gives me something to think about. The backdrops will change but quality should remain. This does not mean that I expect anyone else to watch a movie the way I do – I just want you to know where I’m coming from. 

The more I think about it, the more I hate this movie.

The film is based on a real-life event where a rich southern family took in a semi-homeless black teenager. That part (and maybe only that part) is actually true. In itself, that story is amazing and incredibly touching. Too often in life we all look the other way when we see something uncomfortable on the streets. 

It is this core story that is what is heartwarming. If I gave you the synopsis in one or two minutes you would be touched and your heart would be warmed. You’re a better person for hearing about it. But there is a huge difference between relating the story and what was done in this movie and that is where my problem is. Just about everything that happened in the movie was contrived and superficial and meant to pull at your heartstrings. 

And I know what you’re saying – so what? It is a movie. If this were a novel or something like that, great. I can tolerate and even partially enjoy a movie like Serendipity that is meant to be pure sugar and meant to make you feel good. This movie had a touching core. The saccharin that was poured on top of it was at best unnecessary. 

You want uplifting? Go see Precious. Now there was a film that was gritty, awful, beautiful and uplifting. It didn’t need to cue the sappy music to let you know a scene was coming. The story stood on its own. 

Anyway, here are the reasons why this movie was so bad. 

• The majority of the events never happened. Sandra Bullock didn’t call the coach on the field during a game or run onto the field during practice to save the day. They didn’t pick up the boy while he was walking along the street on a rainy night. There wasn’t a dramatic moment where the coach fought to get the boy into school. All these dramatic scenes were standard Hollywood formulas for contrived emotions.
• There was a single character in the move and that was the mother (Bullock). Every other character in the movie was either a prop (the boy) or a doormat (the husband, coach, etc). Worse, they all are expected to crown her as some queen while she insults them and ponders if this makes her a great person or not. Why? I think the answer is simple – it was meant to be a vehicle for Bullock and it was to be her show (even though, by all accounts, the real-life husband was very responsible for what happened).
• Why are people so impressed with the sassy women? They should have called this movie “Erin Brockovich 2”. I don’t know what was more cringe-worthy: the scene where she drives into the hood and threatens some thugs with violence or where she verbally assaults the father in the stands at the game. If you met this woman in real life you’d want her dead. Can you imagine if someone called your kid’s coach during a game to give advice (or worse, walking into a practice and treating the players like infants)? Would you talk down to him or your husband the way she repeatedly did? But for some reason people see it on screen and like it.
• Speaking of condescending, what about her treatment towards the boy? He was essentially a pet in this movie. She ordered him to go here, there and everywhere. The big “trick” was teaching him how to play football. Think about it – he didn’t have a meaningful line until the last 5 minutes of the movie and he was on screen more than anyone. I want to know what he thinks about the culture shock that he’s been through. Was it difficult for him to move in with this family? What does he think of his past? We hear none of this because it is written to be a coronation of the mother.
• I can see why black Americans were a little upset by this movie. Once again, don’t get me wrong – it is admirable that they did what they did. But a bored and rich housewife takes on a project and they make a movie about it? There are scores of grandmothers that raised their grandkids because the parents weren’t around – I can’t imagine being one of those people and seeing this movie (and I can’t imagine Hollywood making that movie). Also, the popularity of this film is more proof of the way we look at black Americans. We think that we need to protect them and be parents to them – you see it everyday in speech, movies, tv, etc. That is the real racism in this country.
• Why the constant need to remind us that they are Christians and conservative? Besides, the message was hypocritical. Was it Christian to have academic standards to the Christian school? Was it Christian to live in that huge mansion? I think not.
• Cliched. The whole movie was one cliche after another! You could see the next scene coming at every step of the way. Once again, this takes away from what the movie should have been about.

So, there you have it. If you like cheesy books written by the likes of Mitch Albom (other than “Morrie”) or Glen Beck, you probably liked this. And I get that. But lets not pretend that it was anything more than a Sunday night movie that you’d see on ABC (do they still have those?). Worse, lets not pretend that Bullock should have won the award. It is a crime that the leads in Inglorious Basterds or Precious didn’t get it. Hell, I’d toss in the Vera Farmiga from Up in the Air also.